All clients "Not yet reported" status

Howdy,

I have a newly installed WSUS 3.0 SP1 controlling about 50 servers. I have
created group policies to manage the updates and all seemed fine. The
clients showed up in their appropriate groups and updates are downloading
nicely.

The problem: NONE of my client computers are reporting their status. Every
single one is giving me "Not yet reported" status.

I have googled my hair out and now I'm here. I am sure there is something
blaringly obvious that I'm missing, but I just can't see it.

I have run the WSUS Client Diag Tool on one of my failing computers:
WSUS Client Diagnostics Tool

Checking Machine State
Checking for admin rights to run tool . . . . . . . . . PASS
Automatic Updates Service is running. . . . . . . . . . PASS
Background Intelligent Transfer Service is running. . . PASS
Wuaueng.dll version 7.2.6001.788. . . . . . . . . . . . PASS
This version is WSUS 2.0

Checking AU Settings
AU Option is 4: Scheduled Install . . . . . . . . . . . PASS
Option is from Policy settings

Checking Proxy Configuration
Checking for winhttp local machine Proxy settings . . . PASS
Winhttp local machine access type
<Direct Connection>
Winhttp local machine Proxy. . . . . . . . . . NONE
Winhttp local machine ProxyBypass. . . . . . . NONE
Checking User IE Proxy settings . . . . . . . . . . . . PASS
User IE Proxy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . NONE
User IE ProxyByPass. . . . . . . . . . . . . . NONE
User IE AutoConfig URL Proxy . . . . . . . . . NONE
User IE AutoDetect
AutoDetect not in use

Checking Connection to WSUS/SUS Server
WUServer = http://*redacted*
WUStatusServer = http://*redacted*
UseWuServer is enabled. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PASS
Connection to server. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . PASS
SelfUpdate folder is present. . . . . . . . . . . . . . PASS

Here is the windowsupdate.log (last 50ish lines) from the same machine
after a wuauclt /detectnow:

2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 1258 AU AU initiated download, updateId =
{8266A188-8F06-42ED-ABD7-5E467E9AAD81}.101, callId =
{70F77260-3D60-4CD7-B011-971E352A1F86}
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 DnldMgr ** START ** DnldMgr: Downloading
updates [CallerId = AutomaticUpdates]
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 DnldMgr *********
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 DnldMgr * Call ID =
{70F77260-3D60-4CD7-B011-971E352A1F86}
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 1258 AU Setting AU scheduled install time to
2009-06-25 08:00:00
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 DnldMgr * Priority = 2, Interactive = 0,
Owner is system = 1, Explicit proxy = 0, Proxy session id = -1, ServiceId =
{3DA21691-E39D-4DA6-8A4B-B43877BCB1B7}
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 DnldMgr * Updates to download = 1
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 Agent * Title = Update to .NET
Framework 3.5 Service Pack 1 for the .NET Framework Assistant 1.0 x86
(KB963707)
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 Agent * UpdateId =
{8266A188-8F06-42ED-ABD7-5E467E9AAD81}.101
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 Agent * Bundles 1 updates:
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 Agent *
{D5EA2F40-4DC6-4A9F-917E-17B169221B0D}.101
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 1258 AU AU setting pending client directive to
'Download Progress'
2009-06-24 11:56:06:732 848 ab8 DnldMgr *********** DnldMgr: New download
job [UpdateId = {D5EA2F40-4DC6-4A9F-917E-17B169221B0D}.101] ***********
2009-06-24 11:56:07:029 848 ab8 DnldMgr * BITS job initialized, JobId =
{C7C0A8D6-256D-4E00-9935-D28B89175D5B}
2009-06-24 11:56:07:092 848 ab8 DnldMgr * Downloading from
http://gmr/Content/3E/301B6CF8EAF5D2...14FB033E3E.exe to
C:\WINDOWS\SoftwareDistribution\Download\dbe3c79f089a15bf47da085f4e45742a\301b6cf8eaf5d2212895fcd9fc 566414fb033e3e (full file).
2009-06-24 11:56:07:170 848 ab8 Agent *********
2009-06-24 11:56:07:170 848 ab8 Agent ** END ** Agent: Downloading
updates [CallerId = AutomaticUpdates]
2009-06-24 11:56:07:170 848 ab8 Agent *************
2009-06-24 11:56:07:170 848 1258 AU # Pending download calls = 1
2009-06-24 11:56:07:170 848 1258 AU <<## SUBMITTED ## AU: Download updates
2009-06-24 11:56:07:217 848 1674 DnldMgr WARNING: BITS job
{C7C0A8D6-256D-4E00-9935-D28B89175D5B} failed, updateId =
{D5EA2F40-4DC6-4A9F-917E-17B169221B0D}.101, hr = 0x80190194, BG_ERROR_CONTEXT
= 5
2009-06-24 11:56:07:217 848 1674 DnldMgr Progress failure bytes total =
759144, bytes transferred = 0
2009-06-24 11:56:07:217 848 1674 DnldMgr Failed job file: URL =
http://gmr/Content/3E/301B6CF8EAF5D2...14FB033E3E.exe, local
path =
C:\WINDOWS\SoftwareDistribution\Download\dbe3c79f089a15bf47da085f4e45742a\301b6cf8eaf5d2212895fcd9fc 566414fb033e3e
2009-06-24 11:56:07:545 848 1674 DnldMgr Error 0x80244019 occurred while
downloading update; notifying dependent calls.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr *********** DnldMgr: New download
job [UpdateId = {C89B9346-9511-4C47-8C45-EBC21CE363F3}.101] ***********
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
C89B9346-9511-4C47-8C45-EBC21CE363F3 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr * Update is not allowed to
download due to regulation.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr *********** DnldMgr: New download
job [UpdateId = {306910F8-9FF2-408C-89ED-1812BEFD2CF6}.101] ***********
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
306910F8-9FF2-408C-89ED-1812BEFD2CF6 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr * Update is not allowed to
download due to regulation.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr *********** DnldMgr: New download
job [UpdateId = {E3EADAE7-715E-4DC3-B9FE-3A21D8CC12A7}.101] ***********
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
E3EADAE7-715E-4DC3-B9FE-3A21D8CC12A7 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr * Update is not allowed to
download due to regulation.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr *********** DnldMgr: New download
job [UpdateId = {761EC8CE-B7CA-4F29-9600-57640B11B513}.101] ***********
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
761EC8CE-B7CA-4F29-9600-57640B11B513 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr * Update is not allowed to
download due to regulation.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr *********** DnldMgr: New download
job [UpdateId = {CE18DECD-D8D0-4805-820D-575E05EC96A6}.101] ***********
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
CE18DECD-D8D0-4805-820D-575E05EC96A6 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr * Update is not allowed to
download due to regulation.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr *********** DnldMgr: New download
job [UpdateId = {68FFAC39-022F-4810-AB12-03037D9A6701}.101] ***********
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
68FFAC39-022F-4810-AB12-03037D9A6701 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr * Update is not allowed to
download due to regulation.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
C89B9346-9511-4C47-8C45-EBC21CE363F3 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
306910F8-9FF2-408C-89ED-1812BEFD2CF6 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
E3EADAE7-715E-4DC3-B9FE-3A21D8CC12A7 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
761EC8CE-B7CA-4F29-9600-57640B11B513 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
CE18DECD-D8D0-4805-820D-575E05EC96A6 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:607 848 1674 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
68FFAC39-022F-4810-AB12-03037D9A6701 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 1258 AU >>## RESUMED ## AU: Download update
[UpdateId = {8266A188-8F06-42ED-ABD7-5E467E9AAD81}]
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 1258 AU # WARNING: Download failed, error =
0x80244019
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 ab8 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
C89B9346-9511-4C47-8C45-EBC21CE363F3 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 ab8 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
306910F8-9FF2-408C-89ED-1812BEFD2CF6 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 ab8 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
E3EADAE7-715E-4DC3-B9FE-3A21D8CC12A7 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 ab8 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
761EC8CE-B7CA-4F29-9600-57640B11B513 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 ab8 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
CE18DECD-D8D0-4805-820D-575E05EC96A6 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 ab8 DnldMgr Regulation:
{7971F918-A847-4430-9279-4A52D1EFE18D} - Update
68FFAC39-022F-4810-AB12-03037D9A6701 is "PerUpdate" regulated and can NOT
download. Sequence 1062 vs AcceptRate 0.
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 1258 AU #########
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 1258 AU ## END ## AU: Download updates
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 1258 AU #############
2009-06-24 11:56:07:623 848 1258 AU Setting AU scheduled install time to
2009-06-25 08:00:00
2009-06-24 11:56:11:701 848 ab8 Report REPORT EVENT:
{9C4B3BE8-97CA-4357-8913-26885CCA5DFB} 2009-06-24
11:56:06:701-0500 1 147 101 {00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000} 0 0 AutomaticUpdates Success Software
Synchronization Windows Update Client successfully detected 1 updates.
2009-06-24 11:56:11:701 848 ab8 Report REPORT EVENT:
{DA709AE9-A9AD-4C8D-A572-887591BCB5A8} 2009-06-24
11:56:06:701-0500 1 156 101 {00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000} 0 0 AutomaticUpdates Success Pre-Deployment Check Reporting client status.
2009-06-24 11:56:11:701 848 ab8 Report REPORT EVENT:
{B9A91C73-B6A8-4C04-A6D7-211D05772793} 2009-06-24
11:56:07:623-0500 1 161 101 {8266A188-8F06-42ED-ABD7-5E467E9AAD81} 101 80244019 AutomaticUpdates Failure Content Download Error: Download failed.
2009-06-24 11:56:22:170 848 6fc AU No pending client directive

Oops, sorry for the double post...